In pain in general.

ok so it seems like it's been one thing after another since the moment i got pregnant. First of all i was so much more sick during the first trimester with this one than i had been with either of the other two. Sick and so tired i can hardly function most days, it was all i could do to get out of bed and somewhat get dressed. Taking care of three kids under 5 when i felt like that has been awful. Then just as the sick part was starting to go away, i developed a sore throat. And we're not talking a little sore throat, we're talking it hurt to swallow so bad i would cry every time i had to swallow. Plus i kept waiting for more symptoms, i mean who ever heard of just a sore throat, but i never developed a runny nose or fever or even cough or anything, just purely a severe sore throat. that lasted for over a week, then just as that was going away i started to develop an odd aching pain in my upper right jaw bone. It was nothing major, but it was there every single day, the same dull pain, then it started to cause headaches which is when i finally decided i needed to do something about it, but it was such a vague pain i couldn't tell if it was a tooth ache or something else, because it also was making my ear hurt a little. So i decided it was cheaper to go to a dr first. I saw a dr i'd never seen before but she was pretty nice, she looked around and asked all kinds of questions but couldn't really find anything that could be causing the pain. Then since i was there i decided to ask her about another weird and totally unrelated pain i'd been having.

Several weeks, if not months, ago i noticed an odd growth on one of the bones in my wrist, it feels like a deformity on the bone itself. So i asked her to feel it and she became very intrigued. She asked if i ever had wrist pain and i realized that i often get pain in my forearm just up from the growth. She said it is a bone spur, an actual piece of bone sticking out from the normal bone, and that it was catching on tendons and ligaments and was probably causing tears in it when over-exerted. Well that's just lovely because i have the same problem in my knee, which once i told her that she put all the pieces together and basically told me that the arthritis in my knee (which is also in my hip and shoulder on the same side) is probably now in my wrist as well. For some reason the form of arthritis i have is well known to grow in patterns like this, and she said that it's probably active since it's getting worse during the pregnancy. The thing is my arthritis has been dormant for years and if it's spreading during pregnancy that means it's back because the hormones can cause it to spread and grow faster. So this just gave a whole new depth to life after this baby. I'm really feeling like this is the last baby i'll have, if we want more after this, we certainly know how to adopt!

So back to the jaw pain, i went to the dentist today, after having a VERY painful night. He said it is the wisdom tooth on that side, especially because none of my teeth actually hurt, just the bone mostly, he thinks the tooth is still growing and is trying to stretch bigger in the bone, and that's why it hurts. So he wants to pull it. Which is all ok while i'm pregnant and everything, i already checked. The problem here is that i have a heart defect called a prolapse mitral-valve, which basically just means a wimpy spot in my heart. That means they have to give me a full course of antibiotics before they can do any dental work (before any surgery or anything i have to have it too), so i get to deal with the pain for a few more days until i finish the antibiotic before he can yank it. But the pain is so bad most of the time i wanna reach in there and yank it out myself! Even after two vicodin i still hurt, this is insane....i will be so glad when this is done! i feel like i'm falling apart, it's getting a little tough to deal with, the pain, the medication, being pregnant, and trying to take care of three kids and a house....somedays i don't think i can do it. Thankfully my mom helped me out a lot today, but i just hope i can make it through all of this.

just needed to rant and whine a little, now i'm gonna go take some more drugs (don't worry they're perfectly safe while i'm pregnant) and go to sleep and pretend i don't hurt...we'll see if it works.