button, button, who's got the button???

The other day the Husband Man was changing Catcher's diaper, it was pretty stinky. "There's something in the poo...." he said.

Now why would I need to know that? There's all kinds of stuff in poo and I just don't want to know about it, seriously, i saw it going in thru the mouth i don't want to know about it coming out the other end!

"I can't tell but i think.....i think it's a button."

Excuse me? Did you say button? When did he swallow a button? How did he swallow a button? How big is the button? What color is it? Did it come off of something important....do i need to sew it back on???

"This coming from the person who didn't want to know what was in the poo....you sure have a lot of questions about what's in the poo now! And the truth is..." said while finishing the diaper change and wrapping it up to throw it away...."I don't know where it came from or what color it originally was, and unless you want to fish it out i would say you're probably not going to sew it back on because i'm going to throw it in the trash along with anything else in the poo that i might have missed!!" Sound of the swishing lid of the trash can as the dirty diaper disappears into the can with a toss.

Now I'm left to wonder, because there is certainly no way i was going to A)dig the diaper out of a trash can, or B) dig thru the poo inside the diaper to find said button. But really this was more than a day ago and I can't stop wondering how and when and what. How did it happen without me seeing? When on earth did it happen (at least 12 hours before hand probably). and what did the button come off of?? I'm wondering if i'm going to find an outfit with a missing button, or worse, if i'll be tormented by never knowing. Never knowing where the button came from, and never knowing what else could be in his diapers that doesn't get seen...dead flies off the ground, cat hair from his cuddles with the cat, or any number of other things tracked in on shoes, since now he's crawling all over the house. The love of cleaning has just been upgraded to obsession for cleaning.....I have work to do!

becoming educated

I think that every moment as a parent is a teaching moment. That's quite different from what i used to think parenting would be like.....so long ago.

Before I had kids, before i was married, before i was even out of high school i used to worry....i worried that i would be a terrible mother. No this is not a lure for compliments or anything of the sort...it's the honest to goodness truth. I tend to worry about things that are no where near reality in my life and in high school i worried about if i could ever handle being responsible for a child. I had no boyfriend, there was no chance of my having a child for years and years but still the idea of being responsible for the education of another human being from day one....was just, scary. I suppose it was a weird thing for a teenage to worry about, but maybe if more did there would be less babies born to high school moms LOL. But truly the thought of making sure that this little person knew everything they needed to before kindergarten really seemed so scary, how could you fit in everything they needed to know, and how....how would you even go about doing it?

Fast Forward......it's been a good 15 years since then (not that i'm giving away my age or anything haha) and i've discovered the key.....making every moment a teaching moment. Proof is my two year old, and how did she get so smart? I'd love to take the credit truly i would....but it's my 5 and 6 year olds who have been her teachers. Everytime katie doesn't know how to do something her big sisters jump at the chance to teach her. It came instinctively with my first child to want to show and teach her everything because she was my only one and it was somewhat easy....but when you have 5, those teaching moments aren't always so easy to come by.....unless you look a little closer. Katie held up a big pink eraser and asked aloud to anyone who would listen "what's this?" The answer could simply be...."eraser" , but then there is a moment while her brain is open to the answer where you can put more in there than the simplest answer. I told her it was a pink eraser, and that is was a rectangle. She rolled that word around in her mouth several times before it came back out right. That was yesterday.

Today while i was changing a baby diaper katie came up with a stack of blocks and proudly pronounced...."Look mommy, it's a rectangle....and I made it!" Amazing how one little answer to a question sent her on a quest today to find more ways to understand what she had learned.

A mind is an amazing thing, it's like the more you learn the more you can learn....if my strange mind makes sense to anyone else. I mean our brains are a muscle and if you exersize the muscle it becomes stronger and then can be worked even harder. Sometimes as a mom i worry that i'm not exersizing my mind enough (as is apparent by my unapologetic misuse of capitalization and often puncuation) and i don't want it to wither and waste away from the extensive amount of knowledge it once held. So for my mental workouts i'm finding new ways to make learning fun for my kids.....new ways to make every moment a teaching moment. I've also started collecting math and science books, there's something so interesting about relearning something as an adult that as a child i don't think i appreciated enough. I find myself reading math books for fun, and ok so i know that's weird, but it feels so invigorating!

The missionaries commented on my collection of math books the other day when they were here for dinner. I don't quite have an explanation, except to say that learning is such an amazing thing, whether it's learning something new for yourself, or relearning something you once knew or helping someone else learn for the first time simply because you can.....learning is a wonderful thing. An amazing blessing it is to be able to learn anytime we want, i learned how to do braided extension corn rows on my black daughter's hair...from youtube . I taught my 6 year old how to play UNO and the 5 year old caught on just from watching. My 2 year old knows all her shapes and colors and most numbers and sometimes i'm not sure what else until it just pops out of her little mouth. My little Catcher is learning to crawl and is so proud of each inch closer he gets to his goal. Darla is learning to smile. Every age has something to teach us.....what did you learn today?

Through the eyes of a Mother

I don't suppose i will ever understand how my family must appear to other people. Today while in modesto for a few random errands, we stopped at costco. I really only needed two things, to print some pictures from our digital camera (for the frames my husband already put up on the walls of our NEW house!) and i was out of my favorite soda and costco really has the best price on it. So while waiting for our pictures to finish we wandered around costco, sampling the samples and looking at EVERY thing in the store. I had Darla's carseat sideways in the giant cart so there was still room for the diaperbag and the soda i was buying. Catcher and Katie were sitting in the buckled kid seating area and Maggie and Elaine were walking beside holding onto the prespecified part of the cart. (i prespecified a certain spot on the cart that no matter which kid is walking they ALWAYS know where their hand should be at all times, makes the liklihood of loosing one slightly lower) So it was no big deal to me really, all kids were happy but man you should have seen the stares. And if i had a dime for every person who says to me "wow, you've got your hands full," i could pay for the college of the children making my hands so full! Then there's always the random person who asks, "how...how....just how?" i assume that is in regards to the two little ones not just the overall number of children. And my answer is, "i just do," because really that's all i can say. Then the question i hate the most is "are you babysitting?" now that could either be because even if they assumed i could have birthed a child with such gorgeous dark skin after my peachie babes, there would not really be any way to have had two little ones so close together (well i'm sure there's a way but i hope never to know it) ......OR.....they are completely dumb founded as to how a woman obviously related to the pink kids can also possibly be related to the more chocolately bunch....and even though the answer is obvious to me, i suppose to other people the thought never possibly enters their mind that these beautiful children ALL belong to me and it's not any concern of theirs how they ended up in my loving arms. My answer to the babysitting question is "nope, all mine" said with a large smile and no offer of further explanation.

Then Catcher at one point became tired and wanted a bottle. So i found the most out of the way place possible in Costco (which really doesn't exist) and got the diaper bag to put formula in a bottle of water and give it to him. He cried while i was making it but crying has become such a normality in my life that it honestly doesn't bother me anymore and i forget sometimes that it must bother other people terribly. A woman eyed me across the sweaters and walked over "i feel compelled to ask if there's anything i can do to help..." and while i'm sure she was genuinely sincere in her offer there really wasn't much help needed which schocks people that one woman can handle two babies under one, and terrible (but cute) 2 year old and two older know it alls who want everything in the store. I finished the bottle gave it to Catcher and the crying stopped "thanks for the offer but we're fine." then of course followed the inevitable question of ages and the babysitting question and then of course it was followed up by the how question. Each answered with their previously prepared answers and she left in utter awe of the children.....5 adorable children, all quiet and content...who'd have thought it were possible :)

I look at each of my children and just see...my children. I just see how much i love each of them, and that love is the same no matter what color they are or how they arrived in our family. I wish others could understand that i don't look at my kids and see color or difference, each of my kids looks the same to me, 2 eyes that look with wonder and curiousity, a nose that needs wiping over 80% of their childhood years, a smile that makes everything in the world seem possible and perfect in that moment, 2 hands that touch my hair and face and heart with each hug. I see each child the same, they're all mine, and that's all anyone needs to know.

**As a side note i should say that they are not ALL technically MINE as yet, Darla will be ours around our anniversary if all goes according to plan (May of this year). Court date on February 22 to terminate her parents rights and start our adoption filing, just to clarify.**