Changing perspectives...

I don't know about every one else, but it seems like my mind is pre-wired so that when i look at someone for the first time, i instantly notice if something is off or wrong with the way they look or are dressed. It is terrible to admit this, because it's something i'm always trying to tell my kids not to do....the whole "don't judge a book by it's cover." Although i don't think it necessarily makes me think they're weird or dumb or anything like that, but i find myself fixated on that thing, like if their hair is a mess, or if their shirt doesn't match their pants, or if their shoes are old and dirty. I know i know, it's awful to say i do that, but i must say it because it is true.

About a week ago I was in the van at a stoplight, all four children in tow. A man stood waiting for the "walk" signal, and was very near to the car, so that i could see him quite clearly. As i glanced at him I instantly thought "yuck, what is he wearing?" and even though i didn't say those words out loud, i was appalled at myself! I thought, this is a child of Heavenly Father, he has value, just as we all do, in the eyes of God. I didn't want my first impression of a stranger to be an opinion on how horribly i thought he was dressed... what did that really tell me about him? Nothing! (this was a very long stop light) So i looked at him again, and thought, find something beautiful about him. I forced myself to look for something else, and when he looked my direction i noticed he had very nice skin. And while i hadn't really formed an opinion on this person, i did notice that when i looked at him and thought about the negatives in the way he looked, i had a negative general feeling towards him, however when i looked at him thinking of something positive it brought a smile to my face and i felt ....well... positive about him. I suppose that's a little clice, but it was like a whole new insight for me.

I may hate the fact that i have always noticed the bad things when i first met or saw someone, and maybe it's a sign that i have a naturally negative attitude, assuming there would be something bad about this person and looking for it right away. But I have decided to change my whole outlook. And so far it is really working! Now whenever i see someone on the street, or walking by me, i instantly look for something good, or beautiful or nice about that person. Assume the positive. At first it was difficult it was forcing my mind to look for something first that didn't come naturally. But now, after a week, i am really feeling like it's becoming habit, and it's a habit i like! I am sorry if i ever judged you for something you wore. I know i most of the time am not looking my best and hoping that is not what people are focusing on, so it stands to reason that i should do unto others as i would have done unto me right? Right.

the story behind the ankle

I figured I'd post the story of exactly what happened when I sprained my ankle last week, because i wanted to be able to remember it so i don't freakin do it again!!!

Two years ago, when Katie was only 3 or 4 months old, i was carrying her and fell down the two steps in our garage, i majorly sprained my right ankle. Thankfully, though, i landed on a big fluffy dog bed so the ankle was the only injury and Katie just smiled while i cried.

Flash forward to last thursday. I had taken Elaine to school and Katie wanted to go with me, I left Catcher napping at home (Adam was also sleeping) and Maggie was watching a movie at home also. So after dropping off Elaine, i decided i would go to SaveMart to buy some flour so i could bake some muffins. I parked in a very close spot at the store, it was right near the cart return....which at SaveMart, the cart return is made out of cement, like two curbs with a space in between, just wide enough for shopping carts. When i got Katie out of the car i decided to carry her over those two curbs, then let her walk after that. As i picked her up, i thought to myself, "dang you're heavy," i hardly ever pick her up anymore because she is so big, but it was only going to be for two or three steps. Just as i was stepping down from the last curb, i landed wrong with my foot and rolled my ankle. I have to say everytime i rethink this it hurts all over again, that agonizing pain of rolling your ankle that hard on asphalt too. Although the fall happened insanely fast, and i knew the instant i did it that i had at least sprained my ankle, if nothing worse, i had enough time to clearly think to myself to roll and land on my back instead of my front, which was the direction i was originally falling. I was carrying Katie and if i fell to the front, she would have landed quite hard on the asphalt and i on top of her. So by rolling mid air, i landed first and she stayed safely on top of me.

There was an elderly couple walking out from the store (and this happened directly in front of the store exit) they must have seen the whole thing because i remember hearing the lady scream and man yelled out to me. A car was passing right at that moment and i think the lady was worried it would hit me, thankfully that driver was aware enough and swerved to miss my splayed out body as i tried my hardest not to cry out in pain. Immediately after the car passed, several people came running over. The memory of this part is tainted by the immense pain i was feeling at the time so it's mostly bits and pieces. I remember someone asking if they should call 911...to which i promptly replied "NO," i didn't live that far away and surely Adam could come and take me to the ER or something....i knew i needed to go to the ER, but not by ambulance, and not with poor little Katie in tow. A man helped Katie to sit on the curb, as before that she had been laying on me crying because i was crying. She wasn't hurt at all but she was quite upset. This same man offered her a package of cookies, i think there were 6 cookies in there and as soon as she bit into the first one all tears vanished and she was all smiles from that moment on. I am thankful to that man for those cookies. He then went into the store to complete his shopping as the elderly couple decided to stay with me until my help arrived.

I called home, however Adam was sleeping as he had only gotten home from work at around 4am. The phone went to the answering machine, and as soon as it picked up i began to say over and over "Adam wake up....Adam wake up!" but then i switched gears and thought of the fact that Maggie (watching a movie in the living room) might also be hearing my voice on the phone...so i started saying "Maggie, if you can hear me, take the phone to daddy!!" I said that two or three times and Adam answered. Maggie had indeed heard my request and brought the phone to daddy....way to go girl!!

Because I had the minivan, Adam wasn't going to be able to bring the kids to come and get me (their car seats are in the minivan) so he called my dad to come and get me....thankfully Dad was able to drop everything and come to my rescue...thanks dad :)

After getting home, and putting Katie down for a nap, Adam and took me to the ER, we brought Catcher with us so i could feed him. We already had crutches from the incident two years ago, so that was helpful. After an x-ray, it was confirmed that i once again "just"sprained my ankle. I hate when they say "just" because it doesn't feel like "just" it feels like the worst pain ever. Although when i really stopped to consider the pain, it was NOT the worst pain ever, terrible yes, and probably an 8 or 9 on a scale of 1 to 10, but i've had pain that is a 10 (kidney stone...ouch) and this was NOT a 10, and i was also able to tell that it was NOT as bad as the sprain two years ago, either that i was just remembering what it felt like and it was starting to feel common place...which would be sad lol. Anyway, it wasn't broken, so they gave me a brace and sent me home, probably the shortest ER visit in history.

I spent the next two days with my foot up and on ice, using crutches whenever i needed to get to the bathroom and had wonderful family and friends helpout with everything else. However on Saturday i had obligations....Elaine had ballet pictures in the park and a rehearsal, to make matters worse i had told several moms i would be at the park early to do hair....and i couldn't let them down. So Saturday morning i laced up the brace and put on good sturdy shoes over it, and used a cane instead of crutches so i could have a hand free to carry my hair bag. At first it hurt...but by pushing thru the pain i actually found it started to feel slightly better. I did about 8 or 10 heads of hair that day, much more than i usually do because i was bound to my seat, thanks to the ankle. I didn't realize how many other moms needed help with doing a ballet bun for their little girls. So i suppose i would say, i'm glad i had a reason to sit things out on the bench while Elaine practiced her performance and got pictures done, i was able to help many little girls look like the perfect little ballerina on their picture day....smiles all around :)

On a side note, i sprained my left ankle this time...and i am very grateful for that, i can still drive! lol

cooking poo...

yes i know how it sounds 'cooking poo.' but this was too funny not to post. A few days ago Katie was playing with a small toy that looked like Winnie the Pooh, she calls him Pooh Bear which sometimes gets shortened to Pooh. She was playing in her playhouse and it sounded like there was some pretend cooking going on, and i had seen her take the Pooh Bear toy in there. So i asked her " Are you and Pooh cooking?"

Katie got quiet and then answered, "I'm cooking Pooh"

I thought maybe she simply misunderstood so i corrected her and said "Oh you're cooking WITH Pooh."

"NO," came the fast reply,"I'm cooking POOH!" She giggled and i peeked in a window and sure enough there was Pooh Bear simmering on her little pretend stove.

I had only the kids around me so i had no one to laugh at the pun of Katie cooking pooh, which sounded like she was cooking poo (or poop), Maggie laughed, because i was laughing (or so i thought).

Later that night the Pooh Bear toy made a reappearance at bedtime. Katie tried to take it to bed with her. I have a very strict no toys in bed policy (except specified favorite ones of course) so i took it away "No toys in bed" i reminded her.

Maggie laughed and said "Yeah no POOH in bed....eww" she laughed some more, my kid's first pun...Grand Dad would be proud....so was I.

The kids and I were watching a show on the Disney Channel yesterday, just a kid show, like most live action kid's show. It had several adults basically acting like kids and posing questions to the audience of children to answer, which most kids answer back and have fun....but not my four year old. My Maggie thinks of that show the same way i as an adult do. She's sitting there watching, not answering their "problems" and she turns to me and says 'if they're adults, why are they asking us, little kids for answers to their problems?' I totally laughed out loud to that one. I mean as an adult those kind of shows weird me out a little, it really is adults acting like kids so they can relate to the kids, and i guess i'm kind of used to it because it doesn't even really bother me anymore. But it was funny to hear my four year old come to that realization already, i mean i expect it as they get older, that's why those shows eventually won't interest them anymore, but i didn't expect it at 4 years old. What's next? No Santa for her either? Her little mind is growing mature way faster than i was ready. But then she's always been a little further ahead in some areas of maturity than most her age... boy oh boy am i NOT looking forward to her in the teenage years!